The Conspirituality Report

Eating Raw Meat, Dreaming of Fatherhood

A study in muscular conspirituality

Matthew Remski
13 min readJul 13, 2021


There are two Instagram live videos on the page of Utah-based Crossfitter Josh Rainer Goldstein (31 years old, 24K followers) that really stand out. Both rip off the South Korean “mukbang” food porn genre, in which viewers are vicariously sated by watching influencers eat.

Goldstein’s mukbang is totally based. He dines on raw meat.

In one livestream, he takes three hours to sensuously eat a huge lamb shank, lamb heart, lamb brain, and lamb liver. All raw. He licks his fingers, and pauses to let the sound of his slicing knife shiver the microphone. Note: autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) — the euphoric and sedative tingles triggered by quirky or subtle sounds, is a key feature of mukbang. Goldstein enriches the hypnotism with long gazes into the camera.

Shining, shoulderblade-length curly locks frame his romanesque face like a nimbus. According to Goldstein, male balding only happens to men who are detoxing through their heads.

Smacking his lips, Goldstein confides that he’s warming up to an understanding of Jesus through his attraction to orthodox Christianity, and through “the gateway drug” of Jordan Peterson — who may be a fellow dedicated carnivore, but isn’t Christian enough, in Goldstein’s view. He calls plants “slave food”. He suggests followers move to Red States where rural land is plentiful, and religion is still appreciated. He cites Alex Jones babbling about gay frogs, and British “Europe is falling to the Muslims” pundit Douglas Murray on how civilizational collapse is preceded by gender chaos.

“Masculinity is sort of really falling apart,” Goldstein says, referencing hormone disruption through plastics and contraception. “And so is femininity for that matter. I think we’re losing the actual baseline of what it means to be a man and be a woman.”

Goldstein has no children. But when the time comes, he says, he wants his wife to birth them religiously and orgasmically in a field or forest. He doesn’t have a wife yet, either, but that doesn’t stop him from fantasizing, like a 13 year-old boy, about exactly who she will be. She will never have taken birth…



Matthew Remski

Investigative journo: conspirituality & cults. Co-host at Bylines: GEN, The Walrus. More @